Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?

A friend of mine, who is a spiritual person, has a newborn grandchild that is not expected to live.



What do you think would be an appropriate "thing to do" for this friend when the child passes away?



I was thinking about financial help, as I doubt they have health insurance. But I would appreciate suggestions for something a little more loving, as well.Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?When my baby niece died, I bought flowers for her funeral and a ceramic angel for the parents' garden (I'm not religious, but they sort of are). I also cooked dinner for them a few times and offered to babysit my small nephew so that they could have some quiet time to grieve.



I think money is a great idea for your friend's situation, but the most valuable gift you can give them is loving support and a shoulder to cry on.



(((((UP)))))Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?
A grandchild is really tough. Because not only will your friend be facing a loss, but presumably they will want to support their child in turn.



I imagine that will be very draining and the temptation might be to stay strong for the parents by putting aside their own feelings.



And so while I'm sure financial help might be appreciated I think it's important that your friend understands that you will be there for them. And not just in the short term, when the need to organise things; to keep busy, may well distract them. But later on too, when the parents may have started to come to terms with the situation. That may well be a point at which they too wish to grieve but do not want to trouble the child's parents and so might feel .. alone.



Though of course I hope that, in this particular case, expectations fail to materialise.

.Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?Make food and take it over, or go to the deli and get some. People dont really want to cook at a time like that - they dont want to eat either, usually, so the food is usually for those who come to offer comfort.



There really arent words....all I can tell you is how we do it in Judaism, and that is that we go to the house, we do not disturb the person who has had the loss. We sit near them. Sometimes they are aware we are there, sometimes they arent. We dont push ourselves onto them by saying anything.



If they want to speak and talk about it, we listen and give comfort. If they dont want to speak, we sit with them, BE there with them for a little while, and then after a short while we leave. Usually we do bring food, but we do not bother the mourner with it, we take it to the kitchen or there is someone there who does that.



If the mourner wishes a particular person to stay longer with them, then they will indicate it.



I've been to many, many funerals at my age now, and it always seems that just the presence of people who care, is what matters the very most.





Yes, financial help in the case of no insurance would be very appreciated, no doubt. See if you can contact the hospital and offer to pay whatever you can for it. Ask your friend about doing this.
Financial help is a kind gesture. From my own experience in losing a child, never never never tell them, "I know how you feel..." or some other similar quick response. Some people like to say something like, "Your grandchild is in heaven now..." or " Your grandchild is in a better place...". These things can be misleading and are not really Biblical. Also, they can cause a person to become angry with God by blaming God for taking the child.

When my child died, my church raised the money to pay for the entire funeral, and the tombstone. The life insurance money showed up later and I used it to reimburse the church. I did not have any monetary gains from the loss of my child, nor would monetary gains help me to mourn my loss. It did make things easier for me to cope with--also, had some church friends bring massive amounts of delicious food to eat for my family and friends who had constantly been dropping by my home after the fact.Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?I can't add much to the good suggestions here, but just want to reinforce that almost anything that gives your friend your company, your willingness to be with her/him, is what matters most. Most people find it really hard to be with bereaved people and some avoid that difficulty by avoidance. Often, what people need is someone who's willing to listen to the story again and again and again, to be silent with them when they want, to let them cry (if that's how they do things) without having to shut them up, etc. And ANY gesture you can think of - and I'm sure the financial help will be appreciated - will be great, be it a bunch of flowers, an ornament, a picture, a day out, a meal, a bottle of wine - anything that feels right. It truly will be a case of 'the thought that counts' and the gift will be appreciated and cherished because of the thought.



It's so sad - it's bad enough for my friend whose 95-year-old mother died this morning, but the death of a child is against nature and all our expectations and hopes.Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?
Hi UP, I'm very sorry for your friends, I don't even want to think about having to lose a child or grandchild. In addition to loving words, maybe an offer, or even just doing something without being asked to help out might be a kind gesture. Things that need to be done around the house, phone calls to be made, grocery shopping, laundry, pet care, etc can help so much. Often a person just can't even function to do these things when they are grieving.
Stay with them alot. In Ireland (where i live) we have wakes, were for 2-3 days, family members come and go, and someone stays wth the body of the deceased. Now usually it a grown person, but being surrounded by family and friend i think is the best way, I suppose it differs from person to person.Can you suggest how to show support when a child passes away?
Financial help is something they'll probably definitely appreciate. And just letting them know you'll be there for them, and telling as many people as you can about the situation so they can show their support too. Such things can be of tremendous value to anyone going through what they're going through.
It helps to hear someone say they are sorry when a loved one passes away, so verbally express your sympathy. Showing love and support is enough. Cards are always appreciated. I think a donation would be thoughtful and welcome at a time that is so overwhelming. I guess just ask what you would want people to do for you if you were in their place.
The financial help is a very real and practical thing, and will go to the "one less thing to worry about" column. That is very caring, all by itself.



Grief is a process that differs from person to person. Just being there for your friend as s/he goes through the grieving process is a gift only a true friend can give.
Awww that's so sad. :(



I would think just being there for the person... check in with them on the phone, stop by. Since they're the grandparent and not the parents they won't have to worry about making the arrangements, but they'll still be devastated by the loss. Letting them know that you care and you're there for them will be enough for them, I think.



Keeping you, your friend, and their family in my thoughts. (((((UP)))))
That is really sad. The first thing that came to mind was maybe a beautiful but plain photograph frame. They are bound to take photographs and I know some people like to keep them even if it is somewhere private. Otherwise, an anthology of poetry which you could inscribe. It is a difficult thing to think of. Sorry not to be able to come up with something better.
I " lost " an infant, who was only 3 months old................27 years later, I remember, most clearly, how another woman said to me, simply................





"I wish I could take your pain away."........................she is most remembered among the well wishers, the floral arrangement senders, and those who cleaned my home and did my chores.......................she ALONE acknowledged that I HURT.
I read many of your questions and answers on here and I have no doubt in my mind that you will know in your own loving, caring heart what to do when the time does come. The financial help is a blessed start. But, just be you and all will be well.
Just let them know you are there. I don't know that there is really anything you can 'do'. Your emotional support is probably the best thing. It will just take time to heal.
A heartfelt letter and big hugs was what got my family through.



(You could discreetly then stick a memorial check in there with a nice note as well)
A personal visit to your friend and an envelope with 50 to 200 dollars. ...and your friendship, of course.
Emotional support, It sad to think that death strikes at any point...
Financial help is good, and just "be there" for your friend. Only time eases this kind of hurt, but he/she will remember your efforts for them in their time of need.
That's so sad.

Well if Financial help is what they need I'm sure they'll appreciate that.

All you can do is be there for them and support them.
being there to listen, and help with all the little stuff as needed ...



(((UP %26amp; friend's family)))
A helpful hand, soft heart and a listening ear would do wonders.
too sad for me to even think about.



May we all bury our parents, and not our children.
Why not lay your hands and have Jesus in you heal the child.



I cast out demons and lay hands on the sick and they recover.



You can too - that is if you know Jesus.



What do you know anyways - defeat and failure and doom





Have faith - seek truth



You are very sorry and sad and your life is dry - I feel for you!
Say nothing. If the kid is not going to make it, you better don't waste your buck.

When the newborn finally croaks, be supportive and be there for your friend when he needs you.
I don't think money can help a sick kid. Doctors can't just let them die even if they don't have insurance. I'd just pat them on the back and repeat, "There, there."
Just tell them that everything will be okay and tell them that you hope their child lives.
I usally ask when is the babby-q